Hello again from a humid and rainy coastal day. I must say this week flew by and yet it has simultaneously felt as though there was, and is, a huge pause around me specifically. I am sensing that there are more than a few of us feeling very drained of energy and resources having to deal with more than normal, personally and globally. I have felt quite depleted physically this week and then somehow today that has shifted.
Most of my work is client based and this week has been more around cancellations, personal disappointments on the one hand and on the other planning in the head and collaborating with others on a project we plan to roll out. The emotional cocktail has been excitement, frustration, depletion, anger and I guess a little fear, fear of the unknown as yet again I sail into unchartered waters for me at least, full steam ahead.
I DO love unchartered waters, seriously I mean that, its exciting and thrilling and fearful all at once, exhilarating in fact. I am feeling like the expression is not really conveying the huge, huge feeling I have in my heart of expansion and gratitude at yet again an opportunity to stretch and reach out to others from a grounded space. Yet nothing has materialised as yet, we are in the planning stages remember. Planning is not grounding for me, doing is. Enter the critic in me, she always seems to lurk there in the background somewhere doesn’t she, she has been there as long as I can remember, what if it does not work, what if you fail, blah blah…..!!!!
I listen to music when I plan events and rollouts and when the critic arrives. Music always frees me to express myself either way and this is my interpretation of the lyrics of a playlist I am listening to today. Today, a loving gratitude playlist not a head banging get the anger out one.
“Is it time to relax now I am with you my sweet, sweet child….” My interpretation is that I have a dream and I am feeling separate and misunderstood. Allowing me the freedom to know that I can relax as I am never alone. All the versions of me, my adult, critic, inner child (children) and source are all one without separation. It’s about being open to opportunity from a place of safety, having my eyes open to see and my breath to flow freely. It was truly beautiful and inspirational for me to ground through the music today.
Are you too embarking on some element of change or a project of your own? Are you facing a situation that seems beyond your control to have much or any effect on the outcome? Are you facing resistance?
This little list helps me.
Primarily it’s not always the tried and tested way that works each and every time. It is sailing into unchartered waters as I said above.
- What inspires your creative juices today, this could be different to yesterday? What do you personally require getting the ideas to surface and bear fruit? Is it music, movement, dancing, singing, painting, finding the expert, sleep, meditation, is it drawing the plan?
- What allows you the freedom to relax and connect with all the parts of you to be the resource for you now? Is being in solitude or connecting and exchanging ideas, your mojo?
- What do you need today, right now in this moment? A break perhaps?
- How comfortable are you to express how you may be feeling right in this moment? Even to yourself!
- Are you open to sharing the struggle with those parts of you that would rather scream the limitations, asking them what they need?
- Journal if it feels safer going through this.
- Find that trusted person, YOUR person as a sounding board and support.
- When we work in community with others we have a further reach, energy flows where that focus goes.
- Notice if your choice of words differ, little subtle changes are at times overlooked when there is a shift in energy.
- Subtle changes are the gifts for us to be aware of the internal flow or resistance.
- Keep yourself on track with those gentle loving reminders.
- Value your own contribution to the global mix, we all have a unique role to play on this earth, allow yourself to play yours lovingly.
I feel deeply connected this week in sharing. Thank you for reading thus far.
I am so looking forward to rolling out further with my planning.
Here is the tool that allowed the flow in my thoughts today.
Until we meet again.
Much love and gratitude,
What do I bring to the party?
Hello again from my inner sanctuary. This week I have been very blessed with loads of information and contributions from those around me who have contributed to the content of this blog today.
It got me thinking.
In our South African culture, we have a tradition referred to as a “Bring and Braai (Barbecue). We all get invited by the hosts to their home or venue and we are requested to either contribute for ourselves or towards the offering for the whole table. (Meat, Salads, Refreshments, Snacks etc.)
We all contribute to our societies, communities and globally. We spend currency, pay taxes, interest on loans and more, we barter, negotiate, an exchange, all for the greater benefit, that is the system we know and are part of. Some of us benefit more than others, yet we do participate in the model in some way.
We as individuals contribute to the lives of others in the world. So my curiosity drove me to delve further. What is my unique currency? What do i bring to the party that is over an above the request, that special attribute that is unique to me?
Let’s take a teacher for example. They educate their students using content that is supplied to them, by the system or they have been the author of the material. This is ideally so it can be duplicated to build the system. However, who remembers that teacher/person who really made a difference in your life positively or negatively, the one who sticks like a wedge in your memory? I do. They contributed to my life in a way that was at times far more valuable than the content they were sharing. It was almost as though they shared from their own souls or life experiences. Whether it be a tough life lesson for me, or a gentle smile on a rough day letting me know I was not alone.
So hence what do I bring to the party? I am sharing the road my curiosity took me on. Remember I am a born under Sagittarius Sign and Ascendant and my Moon is in Gemini, I am born to explore, here goes.
- Find a place of reflection that feels like your sanctuary.
- Make a list of ways you contribute that are obvious, eg., in the workplace. Your immediate family and friend circles, colleagues etc.
- Is it specific to gender perhaps?
- Loosen the judgement, be open minded.
- It is not about money!!!! It is way beyond that.
- What is my intention versus my reality? (This was a biggie for me, I had to dig deep to understand that although my intention is pure it could be coming across as hostile at times – that arrow…..).
- There is zero judgement in this process, so be loving and kind to yourself through the process.
- Confusion is a platform only – observe and question with curiosity into the feedback from others, ask the questions, to gain clarity!!!
- What are my reflections on the feedback of others regarding my dialogue, behaviour, mannerisms?
- If I had a magic wand how would I like to show up and contribute to others?
- Is this something I give myself permission to do freely?
- Do I give this to myself? If not, how can I give to others?
- I am the starting point before the flow can happen externally. Also a tough realisation for me!
- This surely changes as we move through our journey? So therefore an open invitation to use this reflection regularly – as a reminder to self.
I sincerely trust the above self-reflection suggestions give you some food for thought for your own exploration and internal magical discovery. Smile and enjoy the process.
My conclusion so far is that my contribution is sharing the healing I have received to touch the lives of others with love and compassion and understanding as I facilitate their healing. I bring the opportunity by holding space for others, centering compassion as my currency.
Until we meet again.
Much love and gratitude.
This week has been one of personal reflection, deep sorrow and many lifestyle changes. I have allowed myself some creative thinking and sitting with those uncomfortable truths that I am holding onto stuff that is literally holding me in a space of exhaustion and anxiety it seems. Stuff from way back too, honestly, I thought I had moved on and let it go!
I was listening to a podcast this week about letting go and I thought that is it, it’s the art of letting go right before our very eyes. We have the example of nature moving through the seasons. What happens when the leaves fall from a tree? The tree let’s go freely without having to know when the next leaf may appear beautiful and green, as it always comes with new growth spurts as the seasons change. This before, during, blooming and letting go cycle continues for the lifetime of the tree. Its like a rinse and repeat.
It is right before our eyes in the examples nature give us. The sun really does come up tomorrow even when at times ww are not able to see its brightness clearly or feel its warmth. This occurs day after day from the beginning of time. We human folk often doubt in the possibility, and, dread the probabilities of what that day may bring. A re-run of all the horrific moments of the past rolled into one. We worry, toss and turn at night. Lean into those unhealthy sugars or substances to make us feel better, like a pacifier. This does not make logical sense to me that we need to hold onto that narrative anymore. THE SUN REALLY DOES SHINE AGAIN EVERY MORNING! That’s the way it has been for me here on the planet atleast. Let’s celebrate the breaking of the dawn with that deep emotion of gratitude. The ability to receive and be thankful.
I encourage us all to take a leaf out of the tree’s book of lessons. That old ancient wisdom nature shares with us. This was long before we were in the physical body we inhabit today. The seasons will change with grace even through the difficult times and embrace the uniqueness of what each season may bring, time and time again, with gratitude. Learning to let go and allowing for recovery from the periods of drought, as the rain does come again even if it is after 7 years.
Let’s use this time before the new moon to shed all the residue leaves that we are holding onto, those leaves that are non-serving, window dressing, for the view, or hiding from the view.
What is it you carry with you daily, rethinking into each moment and recreating it as part of your reality? That is my reality check today – am duplicating the pattern ? It’s time to let go.
We really do repeat our thought patterns until they are unconsciously hard wired. Have you ever noticed how eventually it becomes second nature to be about your trauma, instead of shedding and allowing the season of healing to flow in gracefully? Remember there is always a season to prepare, one to blossom, one to bear fruit and one to shed and so the cycle continues. Let’s use that to our advantage and let the process work for us naturally, as we allow for healing.
I have found that mediation with intention is a great tool.
Allowing myself the freedom to manifest that intention I feel so strongly about.
Releasing, receiving, healing from deep within my heart with compassion and genlteness.
Allowing for my positive emotions to flow freely so that the neurons have an opportunity to fire and re-wire.
Making choices that lean towards letting go instead of repeating the same old pattern.
I have found writing and speaking my truths out loud allow me to identify what to release.
I like to find processes to nurture my body from within and without. A form of physical movement, a balanced diet, a balance of intellectual stimulation and learning AND having FUN doing it all.
Have the pity party and cry for 1. Bring in gratitude and laugh and celebrate with the world around you.
Wow! What a week it seemed fraught with change, challenge, disruption, emotional, abuse and simultaneously eerily calm. I was aware of that Full Moon on the 16th. I have also been aware of death and injuries, across the board, human, animal and plant kingdom. In fact, I have been surrounded by it and not directly affected.
This is always a point of reflection for me. Death and being OK with it.
The life cycle is evident in our ancestry and yet we as humans often struggle with the reality of “death”. We are born into this physical body and come to know and learn that this physical body will cease to exist at some point and we will only be a memory. It is a fear I am exposed to often through clients. I was exposed to the reality and impact of death and departure from as far back as I can remember, we were surrounded by early death and suicide in my bloodline, something I have attempted before too. So you could say that I was born into accepting death as part of reality from the beginning.
Most conversations I had this week were around death, grieving and tiredness on all levels. I was aware that no-one mentioned exhaustion tough. I too felt that my sleep balance was in the RED.
It seemed like a week for the truths to surface and at times this is a little difficult to handle for most of us. Which in itself is like a death. So this is when those habits come out – over indulging, acting out, disconnecting, controlling and the list goes on.
As charged as I felt last week, this week I have been mildly curious as to the level of calmness and sense of purpose I have felt in the center of all of this.
That has been the key point for my observation that I am able to remain calm and almost resolute as things have played out and changed around me rapidly and how I have been driven, from within, to make changes on the fly and watch it all fall into place. Sounds a little like I was disconnected. Oddly not, it is the most connected I have felt in a long time, connected to myself and my purpose. It almost felt like for the first time in my life that I was OK with being what is. Not wanting to fix or rescue or roll over either. Just being.
I share these as a point of reflection for us all
I found that this mix worked for me :-
- to notice what I am feeling in the moment in the ugliness and mess – pain, anger, tiredness, sadness, frustration, to observe the feeling and not act on it – just feel it and sit with it with curiosity (akin to meditation I let myself remember to be present all the time, here and now)
- we are all in our process and interfering hinders the others process
- me offering help is different to interfering and taking over, the other person has a choice then
- often choice is what causes the confusion therefore my response to the other’s reaction to my offer is what creates the conflict or the ease, it’s not personal
- if acting out an emotion that arose from a Fight, Flight, Freeze response felt uncomfortable to talk about, then to gently observe what the reaction was about before communicating with others – we all struggle with emotions and old recurring patterns that pop up and we act out or feel them deeply and most often its from a place of survival, protection
- forgiveness in the moment to sets us all free (I was reminded of this process by a loving colleague) ***** see below
- making the choice that works for me, not necessarily according to my list, or what society or my surroundings dictate
- to reshuffle it all and somehow it all fits in and works out for the greater good
- in being less rigid I got more things done and it worked for all – releasing the control
- space to breathe – a simple break away from a task, pausing for the time to reflect rather than rush through everything and wonder when last I had that sip of water.
This gave me the opportunity to serve my own soul and not interfere with another’s path. We aim to live in harmony with our Source, Creator, Higher Self, our Soul, spread the harmony around us from there. It seems effortless rather than pushing for something or allowing our agenda to be that of our neighbours.
Living in harmony with ourselves and our planet is my deepest calling.
Here is a practice that comes into my life regularly and I wanted to share it with you. I urge you to find a spiritual practice that resonates for you.
In a nutshell, ho’oponopono is a process by which we can forgive others to whom we are connected. Practicing Ho’oponopono allows you to cut the aka – (subconscious) connection in a very positive, loving way, knowing that you can make the connection brand new. When you become right with others, you become right with yourself.
Here is the “mantra or prayer” – connect to yourself with breath and repeat a few times – this is said out aloud or to yourself in a group collectively – to the planet and all who live on it.
I am sorry
Please forgive me
I love you
That’s it for now folks
With much love