Hello again from my inner sanctuary. This week I have been very blessed with loads of information and contributions from those around me who have contributed to the content of this blog today.
It got me thinking.
In our South African culture, we have a tradition referred to as a “Bring and Braai (Barbecue). We all get invited by the hosts to their home or venue and we are requested to either contribute for ourselves or towards the offering for the whole table. (Meat, Salads, Refreshments, Snacks etc.)
We all contribute to our societies, communities and globally. We spend currency, pay taxes, interest on loans and more, we barter, negotiate, an exchange, all for the greater benefit, that is the system we know and are part of. Some of us benefit more than others, yet we do participate in the model in some way.
We as individuals contribute to the lives of others in the world. So my curiosity drove me to delve further. What is my unique currency? What do i bring to the party that is over an above the request, that special attribute that is unique to me?
Let’s take a teacher for example. They educate their students using content that is supplied to them, by the system or they have been the author of the material. This is ideally so it can be duplicated to build the system. However, who remembers that teacher/person who really made a difference in your life positively or negatively, the one who sticks like a wedge in your memory? I do. They contributed to my life in a way that was at times far more valuable than the content they were sharing. It was almost as though they shared from their own souls or life experiences. Whether it be a tough life lesson for me, or a gentle smile on a rough day letting me know I was not alone.
So hence what do I bring to the party? I am sharing the road my curiosity took me on. Remember I am a born under Sagittarius Sign and Ascendant and my Moon is in Gemini, I am born to explore, here goes.
- Find a place of reflection that feels like your sanctuary.
- Make a list of ways you contribute that are obvious, eg., in the workplace. Your immediate family and friend circles, colleagues etc.
- Is it specific to gender perhaps?
- Loosen the judgement, be open minded.
- It is not about money!!!! It is way beyond that.
- What is my intention versus my reality? (This was a biggie for me, I had to dig deep to understand that although my intention is pure it could be coming across as hostile at times – that arrow…..).
- There is zero judgement in this process, so be loving and kind to yourself through the process.
- Confusion is a platform only – observe and question with curiosity into the feedback from others, ask the questions, to gain clarity!!!
- What are my reflections on the feedback of others regarding my dialogue, behaviour, mannerisms?
- If I had a magic wand how would I like to show up and contribute to others?
- Is this something I give myself permission to do freely?
- Do I give this to myself? If not, how can I give to others?
- I am the starting point before the flow can happen externally. Also a tough realisation for me!
- This surely changes as we move through our journey? So therefore an open invitation to use this reflection regularly – as a reminder to self.
I sincerely trust the above self-reflection suggestions give you some food for thought for your own exploration and internal magical discovery. Smile and enjoy the process.
My conclusion so far is that my contribution is sharing the healing I have received to touch the lives of others with love and compassion and understanding as I facilitate their healing. I bring the opportunity by holding space for others, centering compassion as my currency.
Until we meet again.
Much love and gratitude.
Marléne
This week has been one of personal reflection, deep sorrow and many lifestyle changes. I have allowed myself some creative thinking and sitting with those uncomfortable truths that I am holding onto stuff that is literally holding me in a space of exhaustion and anxiety it seems. Stuff from way back too, honestly, I thought I had moved on and let it go!
I was listening to a podcast this week about letting go and I thought that is it, it’s the art of letting go right before our very eyes. We have the example of nature moving through the seasons. What happens when the leaves fall from a tree? The tree let’s go freely without having to know when the next leaf may appear beautiful and green, as it always comes with new growth spurts as the seasons change. This before, during, blooming and letting go cycle continues for the lifetime of the tree. Its like a rinse and repeat.
It is right before our eyes in the examples nature give us. The sun really does come up tomorrow even when at times ww are not able to see its brightness clearly or feel its warmth. This occurs day after day from the beginning of time. We human folk often doubt in the possibility, and, dread the probabilities of what that day may bring. A re-run of all the horrific moments of the past rolled into one. We worry, toss and turn at night. Lean into those unhealthy sugars or substances to make us feel better, like a pacifier. This does not make logical sense to me that we need to hold onto that narrative anymore. THE SUN REALLY DOES SHINE AGAIN EVERY MORNING! That’s the way it has been for me here on the planet atleast. Let’s celebrate the breaking of the dawn with that deep emotion of gratitude. The ability to receive and be thankful.
I encourage us all to take a leaf out of the tree’s book of lessons. That old ancient wisdom nature shares with us. This was long before we were in the physical body we inhabit today. The seasons will change with grace even through the difficult times and embrace the uniqueness of what each season may bring, time and time again, with gratitude. Learning to let go and allowing for recovery from the periods of drought, as the rain does come again even if it is after 7 years.
Let’s use this time before the new moon to shed all the residue leaves that we are holding onto, those leaves that are non-serving, window dressing, for the view, or hiding from the view.
What is it you carry with you daily, rethinking into each moment and recreating it as part of your reality? That is my reality check today – am duplicating the pattern ? It’s time to let go.
We really do repeat our thought patterns until they are unconsciously hard wired. Have you ever noticed how eventually it becomes second nature to be about your trauma, instead of shedding and allowing the season of healing to flow in gracefully? Remember there is always a season to prepare, one to blossom, one to bear fruit and one to shed and so the cycle continues. Let’s use that to our advantage and let the process work for us naturally, as we allow for healing.
I have found that mediation with intention is a great tool.
Allowing myself the freedom to manifest that intention I feel so strongly about.
Releasing, receiving, healing from deep within my heart with compassion and genlteness.
Allowing for my positive emotions to flow freely so that the neurons have an opportunity to fire and re-wire.
Making choices that lean towards letting go instead of repeating the same old pattern.
I have found writing and speaking my truths out loud allow me to identify what to release.
I like to find processes to nurture my body from within and without. A form of physical movement, a balanced diet, a balance of intellectual stimulation and learning AND having FUN doing it all.
Have the pity party and cry for 1. Bring in gratitude and laugh and celebrate with the world around you.
Much love
Marléne Nunes
Wow! What a week it seemed fraught with change, challenge, disruption, emotional, abuse and simultaneously eerily calm. I was aware of that Full Moon on the 16th. I have also been aware of death and injuries, across the board, human, animal and plant kingdom. In fact, I have been surrounded by it and not directly affected.
This is always a point of reflection for me. Death and being OK with it.
The life cycle is evident in our ancestry and yet we as humans often struggle with the reality of “death”. We are born into this physical body and come to know and learn that this physical body will cease to exist at some point and we will only be a memory. It is a fear I am exposed to often through clients. I was exposed to the reality and impact of death and departure from as far back as I can remember, we were surrounded by early death and suicide in my bloodline, something I have attempted before too. So you could say that I was born into accepting death as part of reality from the beginning.
Most conversations I had this week were around death, grieving and tiredness on all levels. I was aware that no-one mentioned exhaustion tough. I too felt that my sleep balance was in the RED.
It seemed like a week for the truths to surface and at times this is a little difficult to handle for most of us. Which in itself is like a death. So this is when those habits come out – over indulging, acting out, disconnecting, controlling and the list goes on.
As charged as I felt last week, this week I have been mildly curious as to the level of calmness and sense of purpose I have felt in the center of all of this.
That has been the key point for my observation that I am able to remain calm and almost resolute as things have played out and changed around me rapidly and how I have been driven, from within, to make changes on the fly and watch it all fall into place. Sounds a little like I was disconnected. Oddly not, it is the most connected I have felt in a long time, connected to myself and my purpose. It almost felt like for the first time in my life that I was OK with being what is. Not wanting to fix or rescue or roll over either. Just being.
I share these as a point of reflection for us all
I found that this mix worked for me :-
- to notice what I am feeling in the moment in the ugliness and mess – pain, anger, tiredness, sadness, frustration, to observe the feeling and not act on it – just feel it and sit with it with curiosity (akin to meditation I let myself remember to be present all the time, here and now)
- we are all in our process and interfering hinders the others process
- me offering help is different to interfering and taking over, the other person has a choice then
- often choice is what causes the confusion therefore my response to the other’s reaction to my offer is what creates the conflict or the ease, it’s not personal
- if acting out an emotion that arose from a Fight, Flight, Freeze response felt uncomfortable to talk about, then to gently observe what the reaction was about before communicating with others – we all struggle with emotions and old recurring patterns that pop up and we act out or feel them deeply and most often its from a place of survival, protection
- forgiveness in the moment to sets us all free (I was reminded of this process by a loving colleague) ***** see below
- making the choice that works for me, not necessarily according to my list, or what society or my surroundings dictate
- to reshuffle it all and somehow it all fits in and works out for the greater good
- in being less rigid I got more things done and it worked for all – releasing the control
- space to breathe – a simple break away from a task, pausing for the time to reflect rather than rush through everything and wonder when last I had that sip of water.
This gave me the opportunity to serve my own soul and not interfere with another’s path. We aim to live in harmony with our Source, Creator, Higher Self, our Soul, spread the harmony around us from there. It seems effortless rather than pushing for something or allowing our agenda to be that of our neighbours.
Living in harmony with ourselves and our planet is my deepest calling.
Here is a practice that comes into my life regularly and I wanted to share it with you. I urge you to find a spiritual practice that resonates for you.
In a nutshell, ho’oponopono is a process by which we can forgive others to whom we are connected. Practicing Ho’oponopono allows you to cut the aka – (subconscious) connection in a very positive, loving way, knowing that you can make the connection brand new. When you become right with others, you become right with yourself.
Here is the “mantra or prayer” – connect to yourself with breath and repeat a few times – this is said out aloud or to yourself in a group collectively – to the planet and all who live on it.
I am sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you
I love you
That’s it for now folks
With much love
Marléne
It’s that time again! I realize that some folks may read this way into the future so let’s just say this week was interesting and filled with such contrast.
I managed to finally get into the rhythm of being out of home more and getting to know my new environment and participating in activities. The people I encountered were just as passionate as I am about facilitating various modalities to assist with physco-mental, physical and emotional health. Allowing for the shifting and changing as we evolve and learn more. So you would think I would end the week with a smile considering like I feel I have really come home. I have. However, I want to look at the contrast first from my soap box.
Violence and cruelty was in the forefront as a subject for me this week on many platforms
- gender based violence
- adults
- children
- in-humane treatment of humans and animals
- Poverty
- Poor living conditions
- Lack of education
- Human greed
Closer to home than we want to admit at times sadly. Turning a blind eye isn’t an option – it should never have been in the first place.
Humanity’s disregard for the planet and those who live on it really saddens me and I am aware that I too, have contributed towards the problem without a doubt.
When you have been around for a couple of decades like I have, you learn that there is always a way that things can change for the better. Its the learnings from the past behaviour that prove to be the hurdle. We have discussed this before, change is inevitable. It may require more people to stand together and step up. To stop the cycle. It is enough!. What if we work together to make the change in a loving, harmonious and fair manner, surely we have more chance of success? Hope appeared when I met the people I did this week, folk like you and me who are prepared to listen and assist with more than donations only, which has a valuable place in the space of healing, however we also need sustainable solutions that we, as the community, can contribute towards and benefit from equally which includes the animals and birds and marine life who all contribute to our eco system.
We are undoubtedly capable of so much more as individuals. We are capable of healing from our wounds internally and together as well as spreading the healing around us. The dice rolls and we have a choice to comply powerlessly, turn a blind eye or to rise up for ourselves in our own sovereignty for a sustainable future for all. Choosing to either remain the victim or to rise out of the ashes like the phoenix perhaps, making and living the change for ourselves ecologically!
I made my choice a while back. A road to healing. I continue to pledge this to myself every day. I learn more each day about having empathy and compassion for myself and those around me and therefore I believe that, NOW, more than ever before, we need to unite to heal together and allow for the change that will sustain us and our planet.
What I have learned is that it really is in your own hands as difficult as it may seem now, there is always a way, as long as you stay strong in the belief that there is a way. Without that firm belief that no matter how things look today, they have the potential to change for the better, reach out as ask. In my experience there is always someone out there with good intentions who is waiting to assist, maybe not the first or the second one but they come – all we have to do is ask.
My message for today is we cannot do this alone.
The healing begins with us wanting to make a change and believing in the divine timing of when it shows up, when we have asked. This seems to be the recipe. Taking that first step.
Let’s break this cycle by sending love into the world from our own heart’s to the people around us as a point of departure.
Let’s combine our energy to make a positive sustainable change around us in our own communities. This planet is our home we share its beauty and contribute to its pain, we can find ways to sustain it and ourselves for the generations to come if not only for ourselves.
The challenge for us all is making that small change in our own life today as the starting point.
Off the box now!
Sending loving energy this week into Valentine’s Day and full moon or another day, depending on when you read this….ending with love in my heart.
Healing together.
Marléne
Change it ?
Hello it’s Friday again! I am, as always, so grateful for this opportunity to share the ramblings of the week with you. I trust you are finding some value,
Oh My has this been a week of change for me and those around me!
The common thread in my conversations with others has been about us, coming to the realisation that a change must be made somewhere in each of our lives at some point, moreover, understanding and accepting that the responsibility lies within each of us. That we have the power to make the change, rather than wait for it to “happen to us”.
The Chinese New Year moving into the year of the Water Tiger, depending on your frame of reference fits into this change perhaps. The watchful tiger waiting to seize the opportunity when ready and resting in between
We all know that nothing ever stays the same, change it inevitable and that there are seasons in our lives which bring about change.
I am talking about the areas where we feel the need to change something in our lives that is within our control, which we suspect on a deeper level would probably be best, yet we remain where we are, as I have said in previous articles and blogs, in that seriously uncomfortable space of being unable to get ourselves to take action to make the change.
Let this land in a way that makes sense to you we are all unique and yet we struggle in similar areas and manners.
Here’s my version of change this week.
I have been grappling and struggling with a decision for about 2 years now perhaps even longer if I were to be 100% honest. I am not a procrastinator by nature, perhaps that is another delusion I live under?? (For another day)
This deliberation went to and fro for many a month. I discussed it repeatedly with others and internally with the little voice in my head, we all have one. I highlighted the pros the cons on paper. I highlighted the I don’t know what to do, which resulted time and time again in me continuing in the same direction of turmoil, a non-productive vicious spiral downwards. You may be able to identify with this feeling. It drains you, it affects all your relationships, your results, your health on all levels and possibly more.
Here’s the con I fed myself “I was in control”. Was I? Honestly it was my FEAR that controlled me. What would happen if I closed the door where would that leave me or say about my character, a dropout, homeless, destitute, jobless, clientless without connection, alone, a failure, less than…….?
This is often the crux of my coaching conversations with clients. Irony right…I know. I am human after all and therefore I acknowledge that I understand that at times it feels more overwhelming than it should… it feels very real
Here are some tips I have learned along the way are …
- If it keeps you awake at night – deal with it
- Pushing the decision under the carpet will make you trip over it time and time again
- Find a professional / mentor to you to bounce it off
- Chat to someone you know who has done this before
- Acknowledge the FEAR – name it – the Dragon is easier to tame when you are first name basis with it
- Look at what you are losing/gaining by staying
- Look at what you are losing/gaining by leaving
- How long can you maintain this?
- The next step does not happen until you close this door
- The draft between two doors being open does not serve you or those around you
- A dog cannot serve two masters
- Ultimately it is about YOU, up to YOU and solely in YOUR hands to make the choice on how you view a situation when a door is slammed in your face
- Close it yourself before it slams is an option, it’s easier to own a decision of yours than to live a life resenting the decision of another
- Finally, we see the wisdom in the timing of the door closing when it did – there is the gold
That’s it for now folks
By the way, Yes I closed the door and the very next day another opened.
With much love and gratitude
Marléne
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