Change it ?
Hello it’s Friday again! I am, as always, so grateful for this opportunity to share the ramblings of the week with you. I trust you are finding some value,
Oh My has this been a week of change for me and those around me!
The common thread in my conversations with others has been about us, coming to the realisation that a change must be made somewhere in each of our lives at some point, moreover, understanding and accepting that the responsibility lies within each of us. That we have the power to make the change, rather than wait for it to “happen to us”.
The Chinese New Year moving into the year of the Water Tiger, depending on your frame of reference fits into this change perhaps. The watchful tiger waiting to seize the opportunity when ready and resting in between
We all know that nothing ever stays the same, change it inevitable and that there are seasons in our lives which bring about change.
I am talking about the areas where we feel the need to change something in our lives that is within our control, which we suspect on a deeper level would probably be best, yet we remain where we are, as I have said in previous articles and blogs, in that seriously uncomfortable space of being unable to get ourselves to take action to make the change.
Let this land in a way that makes sense to you we are all unique and yet we struggle in similar areas and manners.
Here’s my version of change this week.
I have been grappling and struggling with a decision for about 2 years now perhaps even longer if I were to be 100% honest. I am not a procrastinator by nature, perhaps that is another delusion I live under?? (For another day)
This deliberation went to and fro for many a month. I discussed it repeatedly with others and internally with the little voice in my head, we all have one. I highlighted the pros the cons on paper. I highlighted the I don’t know what to do, which resulted time and time again in me continuing in the same direction of turmoil, a non-productive vicious spiral downwards. You may be able to identify with this feeling. It drains you, it affects all your relationships, your results, your health on all levels and possibly more.
Here’s the con I fed myself “I was in control”. Was I? Honestly it was my FEAR that controlled me. What would happen if I closed the door where would that leave me or say about my character, a dropout, homeless, destitute, jobless, clientless without connection, alone, a failure, less than…….?
This is often the crux of my coaching conversations with clients. Irony right…I know. I am human after all and therefore I acknowledge that I understand that at times it feels more overwhelming than it should… it feels very real
Here are some tips I have learned along the way are …
- If it keeps you awake at night – deal with it
- Pushing the decision under the carpet will make you trip over it time and time again
- Find a professional / mentor to you to bounce it off
- Chat to someone you know who has done this before
- Acknowledge the FEAR – name it – the Dragon is easier to tame when you are first name basis with it
- Look at what you are losing/gaining by staying
- Look at what you are losing/gaining by leaving
- How long can you maintain this?
- The next step does not happen until you close this door
- The draft between two doors being open does not serve you or those around you
- A dog cannot serve two masters
- Ultimately it is about YOU, up to YOU and solely in YOUR hands to make the choice on how you view a situation when a door is slammed in your face
- Close it yourself before it slams is an option, it’s easier to own a decision of yours than to live a life resenting the decision of another
- Finally, we see the wisdom in the timing of the door closing when it did – there is the gold
That’s it for now folks
By the way, Yes I closed the door and the very next day another opened.
With much love and gratitude
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