Hello. It’s been ages since I last wrote anything. There have been lots of thoughts and ideas tumbling around in my head. I have started many blogs, I even recorded a few sentences, and nothing inspired me enough to write about them. That seems to be a theme in my life now. So many great ideas, and yet they seem to dissolve into nothingness. Which got me inspired again to write this today. No-thing-ness. What does that even mean!?
I looked it up; that’s what we do right when we need to know what something means, relying on a digital source outside of ourselves, bizarre that. These are the meanings that stood out for me from my search.
the quality or state of being nothing: nonexistence, utter insignificance, death, valueless, voi
The question is am I alone in this feeling of No-thing-ness, in this void, this insignificance
Personally, I believe we all arrive at this point at various junctures in our life, those major turning points. It is a place I recognize, it feels familiar and yet different at the same time. I can now in hindsight pinpoint when and identify the events that led up to these periods where I reached the breaking point. I almost always felt so close to the point of giving up as I did not have the strength to continue along the path, or so it seemed, I lacked the energy to push through and make the breakthrough. So close and yet so far. Sometimes I had some divine intervention when I received a second breath and other times I would ignore the intervention and see it as meddling and interfering in my life. I would really give up, destroy or run away from love and relationships, hide from friends, and treat myself with no respect whatsoever. My work always carried me through. As I have moved further along my healing journey these bouts of self-destroying elements became less severe, as I have been able to recognize the need to run or hurt myself and accept the helping hand when it is reached out, it does not make it easier though does it?
If you are feeling this way, I urge you to reach out to others and talk it out, find a professional or trauma practitioner like myself, to hold the space for you while the feelings move through you, write it, draw it, shout it in the wind, sit with it, and know that NOTHING is permanent, including no-thing-ness. That’s the joke our mind plays on us, we truly believe everything is permanent on the subconscious level and struggle our whole lives to accept that it isn’t.
There have been times when my behaviour may have looked as if I was running away from others, or more appropriately put, running away from myself, however, I felt totally in control of my no-thing-ness which always translated into aloneness, sadness, sadistic behaviour, self-loathing, resentment, grief, and isolation. They are synonymous with no-thingness in my opinion. It did not matter I was in control!
Today this no-thing-ness feels like I am preparing to go on a journey, another chosen opportunity, a soul nudge, to release and surrender more than I have already.
Surrender to what is rather than this obsessive need to control or change it out of fear. Fear has had the reigns long enough. A more truthful, heartfelt way to say that would be to finally stop running from me.
How? Well therein lies the opportunity for us all to find the individual creative outlet to do so. I personally am allowing myself the space to be and feel it through today, not to reach out just notice how that feels. Giving myself permission to receive when the gifts of healing present themselves. This is a gift from my soul saying “here you are let’s sit with how you are feeling”, acknowledge, embrace it and then surrender to the healing moment as the feeling becomes the no-thing-ness and releases.
May your journey be one of beauty and surrender. Find the space for yourselves to expand your energy and fill any spaces left open after the release with loving energy before the space can become anything less.
Much Love along your journey
From my heart to yours.
Marléne
https://talkingfromtheheart.com/
https://www.selfandmore.co.za/
https://calendly.com/self-and-more-integrative-coaching
Hi there! I hope this blog finds you well and happy. I’m enjoying the tail end of summer here in the Southern Hemisphere, although today it’s a little chilly where I am.
Usually, I love summer and all the energy and activities that come with it. However, this year has been challenging, and I’m sure I’m not alone. It feels like I’ve been in hibernation, waiting for something to change, and I’ve been struggling to understand what’s happening and doubting myself and my place in life.
I know many of us tend to focus on the negative, but I’ve learned that when we look for the negative, there is so much to dwell upon and get swallowed up by. It’s been a lifelong learning experience for me, and I want to share my inner turmoil with you in case you’re feeling the same way.
I’ve spent the past few years working with people facing many health and emotional challenges, and I’ve been a medium for them to make sense of it all for themselves. But recently, I’ve struggled with my energy levels and physical confusion. I’ve realized that for some reason I neglected to give to myself and lost contact with my own needs while I was busy helping others.
During my weeks of deliberation, I understood that now it’s time for me to learn how to keep my life force energy in balance, more than ever. I owe it to myself first, and then I can continue working with others. I have taken some simple steps to change things in my life, and I want to share some of the lessons I’ve learned to restore my life force.
Here are some tips that have worked for me:
- Find a daily practice that feeds your soul – this is an intimate space between you and you, without distractions. (Meditation, walking alone, dancing, swimming, singing, writing, painting) spend as much time as you can reconnect
- Keep this commitment to uphold this practice no matter what.
- Learn to be flexible. We hold onto old ways and habits of doing things.
- Most importantly, say NO to activities that drain you, and release toxic relationships
- Turn the thoughts around and understand how you created this situation.
- Change is tricky as there is an element of loss, ending, and closing doors. Energy works that way. We need to shift something out to allow something in.
- Rest and recuperate, have your boundaries to keep you restored.
- Have fun and spend time with those who lift your spirits.
- Maintain a healthy diet that suits you and is easy to adapt.
- Sleep when you can. Mini rests are helpful in a busy schedule.
I hope these tips can help you as much as they have helped me. Remember, taking care of yourself first, is essential and everything else will fall into place.
Don’t hesitate to share your struggle with putting yourself first, and let’s support each other in our journeys.
Remeber to use these hashtags when sharing.
#selfcare #balance #mentalhealth #spiritualhealth #wellness
Much love. Until we meet again. From my heart to yours.
Marléne
#TalkingFromTheHeart #selfcare #balance #mentalhealth #spiritualhealth #wellness
https://talkingfromtheheart.com/
https://www.selfandmore.co.za/
https://calendly.com/self-and-more-integrative-coaching
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Hey there friends,
As someone with Chiron in the 4th House in the sign of Pisces, in my astrological chart, I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on what it means to be a wounded healer as I have chosen the profession of helping others and teaching them to navigate their lives through the wounds and healing as we go along, finding understand and forgiveness has always been key.
The Shadow self reveals itself for the opportunity to heal. Chiron is often referred to as the “wounded healer” in astrology because it represents our deepest wounds and the areas where we are called to heal ourselves and others.
Chiron represents your Way of Wounding and Healing. Its placement in Sign and House reveals where we have our spiritual wound that we must work to heal in this lifetime. Consider a person with Chiron in Aries in the 6 th House. Aries is a Fire Sign. Fire’s expression is pioneering, creative, and exploratory.
The Sixth House is commonly referred to as the House of Health. Implicit in maintaining good health is the ability to cope in the face of adversity, and this theme rings truest in the Sixth House. As human beings, we naturally have shortcomings.
It’s not always easy to deal with Chiron in our charts. We may feel like we’re constantly facing our own wounds and struggles, and it can be tempting to give up and feel like we’re never going to heal fully. But the truth is, we’ve come here to heal. As the famous quote goes, “The wound is the place where the light enters you.”
Being a wounded healer means that we have the ability to help others heal from their own wounds. Through our own experiences, we have gained wisdom and insight that we can use to assist others on their own healing journeys. We have the empathy and understanding that comes from having been through it ourselves.
Of course, it’s important to remember that we are still human and we still have our own wounds to tend to. It’s essential that we take care of ourselves first and foremost so that we can be the best healers we can be. This may mean seeking out our own healing practices and therapy to help us work through our own issues.
Ultimately, dealing with Chiron in our astrological charts is a journey. It’s not always easy, but it can bring great growth and healing if we’re willing to do the work. As we continue to heal, we can use our experiences to help others do the same. Sending you much love as we all heal together collectively at the perfect time.
Much love. Until we meet again. From my heart to yours.
Marléne
#TalkingFromTheHeart #WoundedHealer #Chiron #Astrology #PersonalGrowth #HealingJourney
https://talkingfromtheheart.com/
https://www.selfandmore.co.za/
https://calendly.com/self-and-more-integrative-coaching
Hey there friends,
I wanted to share something with you today that I’ve come to understand about myself and how I make decisions. As we all know, life can be full of choices, and knowing which path to take can be challenging. But I’ve realized that our intuition is our best guide and that gut feeling or inner voice tells us what feels right and doesn’t.
Now, I know that sometimes our intuition can be hard to hear. We might be surrounded by noise or be so focused on what we think we should do that we miss the signals our intuition sends us. But that’s why it’s so important to stop and listen when things don’t resonate. We should find a space to understand the feeling, not change it.
And here’s the thing, our perspective on things can change over time. What felt right yesterday may not feel right today. And that’s okay. It’s important to be respectful of how our decisions might affect others, but at the end of the day, being true to ourselves is the most important thing.
So, if you’re ever in a situation where you’re unsure of what to do, take a step back, take a deep breath, and tap into your intuition. See what it tells you, and remember, it’s okay to change your mind and grow as a person. Trust yourself. Trust your gut. It is easier than you may think.
Until we meet again. From my heart to yours.
Much love. Marléne
https://talkingfromtheheart.com/
https://www.selfandmore.co.za/
https://calendly.com/self-and-more-integrative-coaching
I started this Blog a little over a year ago, in 2021, and I wanted to be more active on it, bearing my soul. With the year I have experienced, I now understand that I have only been scratching at the surface. My initial purpose was to share my journey and create a space of possibility for myself and knowing that someone else out there will resonate. It seems very apt, though, that I only share when I am ready to “Talk from my heart.”
I have lived with many loaded, negative, gut-wrenching emotions most of my life. I have suppressed these emotions when they have surfaced, creating the implosion within or eruption to burn and wield my fire outward to harm others. Keep them at a distance. You may be able to resonate with this; both options have the potential to destroy beauty, love, and connection with yourself and others. I have craved this very thing I have pushed away. These beliefs have created layers of patterns of reaction to events and actions of others in my environment, real or perceived. My take on the story is mine to deal with, but I blamed others for how I felt. I have had so many questions. I am sure you have too in your experience. Why am I so sensitive? Why are others causing disruption? Why is this stuff resurfacing? Why am I still trapped? Why is everything in my life an uphill battle? Mostly I blamed others, though, if I were to be transparent.
I have developed the strategy to act out of character or keep my opinions to myself to be accepted and popular. However, the latter was never so much of my need, tongue in cheek. It may be yours too? I share this with you today, for your loving reflection. I am not there at this point, but I was. It has taken much effort to shift some of these patterns.
Honestly, there are more layers than I initially believed or felt prepared for. I have often felt tired along this journey. That is how I feel today, exhausted to the core. I often wonder why I chose this life of opening wounds to heal, when so many others haven’t. I feel incredibly grateful for each little gift I have been given, irrespective of how difficult it may have been to step back from the pain and observe my next shift on my road back to me.
The path I have walked has primarily been me feeling restricted and boxed in by circumstances that are ‘beyond my control.’ I thought that I was a lifetime prisoner to circumstance. I am beginning to learn that knowing how I feel is the only way to know what to do next. It is from these hurtful, frustrating, depleted feelings that creativity is born, and thankfully, I am starting to realize that, albeit slowly.
I have set my intention for the opportunity for me to make emotional denial almost impossible. It is what it is. Hard cold fact until I believe differently about the same situation. I am feeling these emotions now raw and base. What can I do to understand that there are no expectations that serve me? These expectations I learned to create in my childhood of myself and others have caused so much pain all these years. It is time to free myself from expectations on this layer I am working through now.
My way is causing more stress and anxiety. That state of embracing the moment where I can be myself, pain or peace is all judgment. I came here to experience what it feels like to be myself. I embraced the role wholeheartedly, playing judge and jury and issuing the sentence. Time to let that pattern go.
The word Freedom was always an enigma. The song “I want to break free” by Queen always resonated deeply with me. I sang out of tune as loudly as possible and stood on tables in alcohol and drug-induced melancholy about my life’s mission to be free from the chains. Peacefully and with enormous gratitude, I sit here writing this blog with a smile forming, 1818 days sober, and with the realization that despite my sober mind, I have continued to strive for something I had no idea I already had.
Yup, you guessed it. Freedom. It is a choice.
I can continue to ignore and suppress my needs and desires. Those that my soul has been underling and highlighting in neon colours for decades, this is a choice.
It is safe, familiar, and often a cosy choice to ignore that I can have all I feel I deserve. What do I believe I deserve? My beliefs have allowed me to stay angry and hurt and push people away from me. That is beginning to sound like hard work to me. This juggling act of simultaneously being connected and suppressing my connection to myself.
In the last stretch of my life, the realization is that it is now or never. I intend to free myself from the pause rinse and repeat pattern I have mastered.
Don’t get me wrong; I have not been hiding in the shadows for years; to the contrary. I have created the internal struggle. I have endured almost unbearable moments that I wish to forget as I held on to those old debilitating beliefs to keep myself trapped. I feel sad on some level that it has taken me so long and yet today again there is a space to let go again, painful as it is to both feel and give myself the permission to be free.
I have made the following choices in this moment to open my mind to the possibilities of what could be, irrespective of where I may find myself or what I feel.
I have set the intention for myself to release the old pattern I am aware of now in this moment. It is with an inner knowing that I am finally free to make that choice. It is all up to me. The question is will I, or will I grab on tightly just in case? I am free to do either.
Thank you for witnessing my process. This is akin to thinking out loud and realizing someone heard you.
What is your intention?
Until we meet here again from my heart to yours.
Much love.
Marléne
https://talkingfromtheheart.com/
https://www.selfandmore.co.za/
https://calendly.com/self-and-more-integrative-coaching
