Hello there to all of you. I have been experiencing a week of non-days, today in particular. I am unsure if that is even a word, non-day, however that is how I feel. I am so accustomed to achieving things daily to feel fulfilled. In having something to show for the day so that when I lay my head down at the end of the day I achieved something tangible. I would imagine that you have an idea of what I mean. I have noticed though that this sense of achievement always has something to do with an external activity or affecting another party.
I am aware that the movements of planets have effects on all of us, and that there is something shifting in me and those around me, as though we were evolving. Evolving into the next phase of our lives, not relating to a milestone in age or a developmental stage but more into a phase of clarifying what action needs to be taken, if any at all. A more internally direct approach.
There is my struggle, the non-action, the non-days. I would be lying if I said that it is easy to sit and reflect on how I feel about the “no-thingness” of these days and the feelings I am experiencing. I have understood though that I need this time to reflect and grow into what is coming for me. I feel this to be true for many of us. Especially those with a multitude of questions and choices.
Let’s look at the realities globally things are different, tougher perhaps for the majority. I am becoming more and more aware in the conversations I am having with people from all walks of life that the need for internal introspection to bring about that change internally and globally is both necessary and extremely uncomfortable at times.
It’s down to the rockface now so to speak. What is your truth? That is the golden nugget. Is your truth the “crappy circumstances” that rise to the surface like an avalanche when you are already feeling low? Let’s consider that there another way to look at it?
Firstly avoidance is a tactic and a action which will bring more of the same in my experience. It takes more energy than facing the dilemma. Consider acknowledging the reality to yourself as it is right now, tomorrow is always different even though the circumstances are the same. Our outlook can change.
For me personally it’s a time of great reflection however it seems like I have the answers and seem to lack the method and the belief in myself . So that brings the word trust into the equation again. I am aware of what I say to others and how I say it, I have taken to interrupting myself in mid-sentence and have gently noticed that in others too.
However, the sugar coating of our realities is in my opinion the very reason that I now need to reflect on the reality. Can I sit with that which I know cognitively appears to be a huge mountain I need to climb? Can I sit and talk to the fear inside that gets panicky when I don’t have a solution? Is it ok to not have a plan or external satisfaction?
I feel unsure about how or what to do it I do not understand the purpose. Yet I have gone down so many paths before that I was unsure about and found gems along the way, I am sure that you have too.
It feels like the time to act is now to move forward with what I want and what I see, hear, feel, or believe to be true for me. That I am exactly where I am meant to be and so are you. We have that amazing opportunity to go-within and make the changes at the rockface from the heart and live in loving kindness and I believe the rest will flow. It always does. Trust in yourself you’ve got this!
Much love
From my heart to yours.
Marléne
I am pleased to be active again.
Things have been crazy around here for me in a very strange way as though my world was on hold.
I seemed to have built up some resistance to expressing my thoughts for a while until today.
I am always grateful for the gifts I receive from so many sources. I have received a huge amount of knowledge and wisdom from those whom I have interacted with over this period of stillness. This has been the source of the subject of immobilisation.
The word has a few meanings, however for the purposes of this blog I am talking specifically about FEAR. I went to a talk the other evening where we discussed this very topic at length afterward as it is always so relevant for me both personally and in my work.
FEAR has been a reality I have lived with most of my life on some deep level. Yet from a distance it would not appear to be the case. Seeing that FEAR has been my lifelong companion, I can share from personal experience that Fear that if not given the space to be aired, voiced, identified, or physically felt, it cannot be released fully and it will always lurk there in the dark. It will prevent you from ever feeling totally safe, or trusting of yourself or others.
FEAR is often kept in the shadows isn’t it, like the taboo subjects in the old days of sex, religion or politics. We are often afraid to voice our fears. I almost think we as humans believe that if we avoid the emotional feeling of FEAR, it will automatically go away. Unfortunately it does not disappear so easily.
Yes, I would agree that you can definitely overcome fear by pushing yourself through a fear or phobia. What does that create?
Let’s take the example of riding a bicycle. The possibility or should I say, probability of falling is there, if we focus on it, we will fall. Shifting the focus to staying on the bicycle would be easier and more enjoyable than focussing on the falling. That way the fear has no space to breath as it has been replaced.
What about those deep-seated fears? Those that keep you awake at night, are often the subject of the worst nightmares. The one’s that immobilise you and prevent you from moving forward, expanding, starting a relationship, having an opinion, driving home in the dark alone, sleeping with the light off etc. We keep them to ourselves and act irrationally as the FEARS take over our lives. FEAR is in the driver’s seat,
I am currently sitting with one of those right now, a familiar old FEAR of mine, that I can pinpoint right back to my childhood. It was a belief that I inherited from the environment and people in my family who had lost so much in their lives. It almost became a way of life for me too. I am relieved to say that I have managed to identify it now once again, more clearly this time than ever before. I am taking some time out to change that for myself now.
Do you have FEARS that are nameless, invisible to others or perhaps even to yourself? FEARS that you have pushed down firmly in attempts to supress them, yet they reappear time and again.
These are the FEARS that immobilise you, it takes a huge amount of energy to keep them supressed, doesn’t it. FROZEN in time, that means we are stuck there too.
The final survival response that leads us to shutting down physically. It is exhausting we are not able to function at full capacity like this.
My process has mostly taught me to admit these FEARS to myself verbally or in writing, to see, hear, taste, smell and feel them tangibly. It is not an easy process however it is a necessary one. If we don’t identify the FEAR even when it seems ridiculous and totally irrational given our circumstances, we cannot deal with it and release it.
Here are some safe ways I have found that have helped me.
Talk to a compassionate friend or professional whom you trust enough to talk about it. Others often can see the things we are blind to and offer support by hearing us.
Journal or record your voice if it is easier, until you feel you can name the FEARS easily.
Become aware of the shift that is required to release these FEARS within yourself physically. This is a unique experience.
Then and only then can we move into a place of gentle acceptance, knowing the root cause and that you are no longer in danger as you have moved from that space. In some cases, our perceived danger is more real to us than an actual one.
The cathartic journey of finding the release through the process is rewarding as you move into a new place of safety within yourself.
Connecting with others via a process of guided meditation to release your FEARS silently is also helpful for some.
Increasing your own spiritual practise and asking for inner guidance to overcome your FEARS and developing that inner knowingness that creates safety beyond what our mind perceives.
Consider a practise like Yoga or TRE® to create more awareness of the energy flow within you and around you.
Until next time
Much Love
Marléne
