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Parallel Realities

Parallel Realities

 

Hello, again beautiful souls.

It is with a light heart and a gentle smile that I sit here typing this blog, knowing that possibly a few of you may wonder after reading it if I have lost the plot completely.

A blog for me is an expression of myself and in this case that I am sharing with you.  Allowing my vulnerability to be real and tangible for myself too in this moment.

Have you ever felt , considered, or even dreamed that you are existing in more than one “place”/reality?  As babies, we are born into this physical reality and then we get to adorn a cloak based on our parent’s or caregiver’s version of what it is to be a Human Being in the reality that we are born into. It’s a lifelong struggle to work to develop our truth of that reality before we leave this body.  Working through the maze to get to live our purpose is why we are here in my opinion.  We are provided with lots of assistance along the way when we observe a little more and do a little less.

Perhaps you wore the cloak of one or all of the main Archetypes ( Caroline Myss).  ( a Child, a Survivor, a Victim, or a Prostitute)

I know I missed the child part in my life,  I never got to play, and I believe one of my lessons here is to have fun.  I bought into the victim hook line and sinker until I released her to become the survivor.  The prostitute, on the other hand, is an interesting Architype as it suggests trading sexual pleasure or manipulation for pleasure, however, if we allow our minds to think of the broader sense of the word, it is a manipulation of events for our own gain. I am definitely aware of this reality in my actions over my lifetime.

Selling our souls for food, money, recognition, “love”, a roof over our heads – fill in the blanks as per your experience.  I will say that these archetypes are not gendered specific, so it applies to us all.  What are you selling your soul for?  Ironically, we often do this to survive.

We can meditate, take psychedelics, go on pilgrimages or journeys and tick off the list to experience other realities,  which all add so much value and provide the space for release and clarity,  and therein we become more aware of what our reality really is.   There are lots of studies on this subject, research is at our fingertips.

We don’t all have those opportunities or share those beliefs though, yet we too could feel or be uncomfortable that our reality  is not what we signed up for, isn’t it? Consider that statement for a moment!  Really is that true?  Who created your reality, assuming you are not a minor reading this?  My rudest awakening was when I realized with huge shock years ago, that I am creating the struggle, the mess, the pain by resisting what is.  What are you resisting?  Could there be another reality for you? And could it be living with a more open awareness of what is, not the meaning we give it?  Does this mean you need to let something go perhaps?

What if those other realities are actually here, right now in our conscious space, but we are not ready yet to acknowledge them yet?  Could you consider looking at the state your life is in for a moment, without judgment, and see what else you can see or what you become aware of, like an observer, not a participant?  What more can you expand your conscious awareness into seeing as possibilities for yourself?  There really are no limits.  We put the limits there.

Allow yourself to dream the dream into reality without the aspect of time attached.  It is all in divine/organic/energetic timing,  not our linear controlled version of time.  An example of this would be when we force the outcome of something, according to an expectation of ours and somehow feel deeply dissatisfied afterward deep down, even if outwardly we express a different view.

In conclusion, the message is that there are lots of realities in our daily lives, it’s the path you choose to focus on that becomes the deepest, what if you could walk alongside yourself and observe the steps along the way, how cool would that be?  Don’t knock it, it really does work in my world and those I am priviledged to interact with.  The reality changes as you observe it and as you let go of the control.  It is somehow always perfect.  We learn.  We are blessed and supported even when we forget to ask.

Much love and light from my heart to yours along the journey.

Have fun!

Marléne

https://talkingfromtheheart.com/

https://www.selfandmore.co.za/

https://calendly.com/self-and-more-integrative-coaching

Acceptance

Acceptance

Hello there.  Wherever you may be in the world today the sun is shining somewhere. We are getting to the end of Winter here in the Southern Hemisphere and I am so aware that this was a winter of extremes for me, and I would imagine I am not alone.  My connections in the Northern hemisphere have been having their extremes too.

It’s amazing how as human beings we most often focus on the things we are experiencing in extremes, for example, It’s too cold, too hot, too much, too little, too difficult, too bitter, too close, too scary, too busy …and so on.

I have become very more aware of what I am focussing on of late. I was feeling drained and exhausted and burned out.  I made a deal with myself to take myself off to a space where there was nothing to focus on except nature and self-care to understand how I got here and how much that contributed to the responses I was receiving from others and then release what no longer served me and more and re-negotiate a new way for me to be.  How I would show up each moment?   In a way, it is an organic process.  It’s playing out daily as new learning for me to be patient with myself and those around me to allow for the creation of  harmony.  Some days it is easier than others, honestly.

I am the first to admit that changing focus requires some self-negotiation and that is what I was struggling with.  I now understand that it is not so much about doing but acknowledging what is, without fear, resignation, and/or expectation.  You may be like me in that  your profession or friendship circles you assist others through their process of change and therefore you may too may have received the reflection from others that perfection seems like a state that eludes us continually, a goal never reached!

I am here today to share with you that I believe now that perfection is in every moment we receive in this physical life. A perfect blessing.   Every little special nugget of information, realization, epiphany, feedback, intervention, or interaction all add to the perfection of knowing that I am in the place I am meant to be.  It is the ability to observe the discomfort or comfort with gratitude as they both bring huge insights.  When our physical body alerts us to pain there is a reason, a warning, our emotions and thoughts are no different.  Something is brewing and it is advisable to lift the lid to observe to see what you’re working with.

This is my way of looking at things – you are welcome to add your comments to what works for you.  Someone out there may need to read your experience in their low moment to remind them that they are not alone.

This is what I do in my low moments, after pacing and distracting myself often that is 😊.

I ask myself a few questions.

What is the root cause of my unsettled feeling?  I don’t know is possibly my standard response, what if I did know I wonder what it could be……?

I then take this into a journalling space, a meditation, a walk, a yoga class, or something similar to make the space for stillness allowing the answers to arise to the fore for me.  I sometimes will reach for a friend, a heart circle or professional to chat it through.

This does not always work though, does it?  Here comes another word that often appears in my self-reflection and self-feedback and that is Acceptance.  Just typing that loaded word triggers some emotion for me.

Acceptance is more about letting go of the need to control the situation and less about complacency or becoming a victim.  I accept and take responsibility for how I got here and how I feel about it, now what is there that I can change right now to make my life simpler and more aligned to my purpose?

Do I wish to continue as it is?

Or

What do I feel I could change now, short term, long term?  Do I want to change?

My attitude towards the circumstance could be blocking me and what am I not seeing while I have been staring at the problem?

More often than not herein lie the nuggets, those deep gratitude moments for me.

What do I believe about myself in this situation and how does that serve me now, it possibly served me at another time, but now? Can I release that belief now?  There is the gift from my heart to yours.

Until next time there are some things for us all to ponder.

You are welcome to reach out if you need support in your process.

Much Love

Marléne

https://talkingfromtheheart.com/

https://www.selfandmore.co.za/

https://calendly.com/self-and-more-integrative-coaching

Eclipse in reality for me

Eclipse in reality for me

Hello there once again.  It’s been more than a month since I last wrote anything.  It’s been a month of growth, turbulence, flooding, and excessive heat, cold and now the Winter Solstice is upon us in the Southern Hemisphere.

Perhaps you too have been feeling the shift in energy all around of late.  It is almost as though people are back in the swing of things and the world goes on.  Yet there is still so much mayhem and disparity amongst people that I am often saddened more by the drive for people to continue business as usual.  The underlying stressors and fear that lurk deep within humanity are still there.  In my humble opinion unless we address those emotions we are traveling along a slippery slope.

In my own experience in my own life, family history, my studies, and my work, the realization that unresolved emotion is our worst enemy is primary for me.  That leads me to believe that I at times am my own worst enemy! Perhaps this is true for you too.

That is quite something to say out aloud.  Phew.

How do I change that for myself?

It is far easier to focus on others and their behaviours.  I have been feeling of late that there is almost some kind of karmic release for me.  I am watching old patterns in myself and others rearing their heads. So today is the perfect pivotal point for me at the  event of the winter solstice to release those patterns.  The solstice-to-solstice journey has been very significant for me this year, almost like an ending. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I share my birthday date with the summer solstice.  Either way I am ready to shed the old skin and allow the new energised me to emerge.

How?  That is not so much the question for me !  The willingness to accept me for who I have become is the vital point for me recently.  The” allowing” of me to be the being that I have suppressed up to now out of fear of what would happen if I freed myself to be me wholly.  There is no collateral damage is there when we live a life that is more deeply rooted in our own spiritual growth, truth or purpose?  Our inner knowing really kicks in at this point.  That is my belief atleast.

Let’s stop kidding ourselves about these ego points we develop about who we are.  We are part of one source.  Yes, that has two sides,  the wonderful me and the shadow me!  For years I have deluded myself that the shadow is something that is apart from me, the dark side, the moody horrible B… that emerges.  Well, I know now that she is a part of me and she too needs love and nurturing so that we can merge and integrate into a more loving and kind soul for myself.  This in turn allows me to  serve those around me with more love rather than with obligation or need.

  • I encourage You,  reading this blog to consider  aknowledging and loving your shadow side too, include that part, warts and all as you integrate more into a whole being, knowing that those are all parts of the beautiful being that you are now!  Acceptance is the Key.

Much Love

From my heart to yours.

Marléne

Down to brass tacks

Down to brass tacks

Hello there to all of you.  I have been experiencing a week of non-days, today in particular.  I am unsure if that is even a word, non-day, however that is how I feel.  I am so accustomed to achieving things daily to feel fulfilled.  In having something to show for the day so that when I lay my head down at the end of the day I achieved something tangible. I would imagine that you have an idea of what I mean.  I have noticed though that this sense of achievement always has something to do with an external activity or affecting another party.

I am aware that the movements of planets have effects on all of us, and that there is something shifting in me and those around me, as though we were evolving.  Evolving into the next phase of our lives, not relating to a milestone in age or a developmental stage but more into a phase of clarifying what action needs to be taken, if any at all.  A more internally direct approach.

There is my struggle, the non-action, the non-days.  I would be lying if I said that it is easy to sit  and reflect on how I feel about the “no-thingness” of these days and the feelings I am experiencing.  I have understood though that I need this time to reflect and grow into what is coming for me.  I feel this to be true for many of us.  Especially those with a multitude of questions and choices.

Let’s look at the realities globally things are different, tougher perhaps for the majority. I am becoming more and more aware in the conversations I am having with people from all walks of life that the need for internal introspection to bring about that change internally and globally is both necessary and extremely uncomfortable at times.

It’s down to the rockface now so to speak.  What is your truth?  That is the golden nugget.  Is your truth the “crappy circumstances” that rise to the surface like an avalanche when you are already feeling low?  Let’s consider that there another way to look at it?

Firstly avoidance is a tactic and a action which will bring more of the same in my experience. It takes more energy than facing the dilemma.  Consider acknowledging the reality to yourself as it is right now, tomorrow is always different even though the circumstances are the same.  Our outlook can change.

For me personally it’s a time of great reflection however it seems like I have the answers and seem to lack the method and the belief in myself .  So that brings the word trust into the equation again.    I am aware of what I say to others and how I say it, I have taken to interrupting myself in mid-sentence and have gently noticed that in others too.

However, the sugar coating of our realities is in my opinion the very reason that I now need to reflect on the reality.  Can I sit with that which I know cognitively appears to be a huge mountain I need to climb?  Can I sit and talk to the fear inside that gets panicky when I don’t have a solution?  Is it ok to not have a plan or external satisfaction?

I feel unsure about how or what to do it I do not understand the purpose.  Yet I have gone down so many paths before that I was unsure about and found gems along the way, I am sure that you have too.

It feels like the time to act is now to move forward with what I want and what I see, hear, feel, or believe to be true for me.  That I am exactly where I am meant to be and so are you.  We have that amazing opportunity to go-within and make the changes at the rockface from the heart and live in loving kindness and I believe the rest will flow.  It always does.  Trust in yourself you’ve got this!

Much love

From my heart to yours.

Marléne

Immbolised by Fear

Immbolised by Fear

I am pleased to be active again.

Things have been crazy around here for me in a very strange way as though my world was on hold.

I seemed to have built up some resistance to expressing my thoughts for a while until today.

I am always grateful for the gifts I receive from so many sources.  I have received a huge amount of knowledge and wisdom from those whom I have interacted with over this period of stillness.  This has been the source of the subject of immobilisation.

The word has a few meanings, however for the purposes of this blog I am talking specifically about FEAR. I went to a talk the other evening where we discussed this very topic at length afterward as it is always so relevant for me both personally and in my work.

FEAR has been a reality I have lived with most of my life on some deep level.  Yet from a distance it would not appear to be the case.  Seeing that FEAR has been my lifelong companion, I can share from personal experience that Fear that if not given the space to be aired, voiced, identified, or physically felt,  it cannot be released fully and it will always lurk there in the dark.  It will prevent you from ever feeling totally safe, or trusting of yourself or others.

FEAR is often kept in the shadows isn’t it, like the taboo subjects in the old days of sex, religion or politics.   We are often afraid to voice our fears.  I almost think we as humans believe that if we avoid the emotional feeling of FEAR,  it will automatically go away.  Unfortunately it does not disappear so easily.

Yes, I would agree that you can definitely overcome fear by pushing yourself through a fear or phobia. What does that create?

Let’s take the example of riding a bicycle.  The possibility or should I say, probability of falling is there, if we focus on it, we will fall.  Shifting the focus to staying on the bicycle would be easier and more enjoyable than focussing on the falling.   That way the fear has no space to breath as it has been replaced.

What about those deep-seated fears? Those that keep you awake at night, are often the subject of the worst nightmares. The one’s that immobilise you and prevent you from moving forward, expanding, starting a  relationship, having an opinion, driving home in the dark alone, sleeping with the light off etc.  We keep them to ourselves and act irrationally as the FEARS take over our lives.  FEAR is in the driver’s seat,

I am currently sitting with one of those right now, a familiar old FEAR of mine, that I can pinpoint right back to my childhood.  It was a belief that I inherited from the environment and people in my family who had lost so much in their lives.  It almost became a way of life for me too.  I am relieved to say that I have managed to identify it now once again, more clearly this time than ever before.  I am taking some time out to change that for myself now.

Do you have FEARS that are nameless, invisible to others or perhaps even to yourself? FEARS that you have pushed down firmly in attempts to supress them, yet they reappear time and again.

These are the FEARS that immobilise you, it takes a huge amount of energy to keep them supressed, doesn’t it.  FROZEN in time, that means we are stuck there too.

The final survival response that leads us to shutting down physically.  It is exhausting we are not able to function at full capacity like this.

My process has mostly taught me to admit these FEARS to myself verbally or in writing, to see, hear, taste, smell and feel them tangibly.    It is not an easy process however it is a necessary one.  If we don’t identify the FEAR even when it seems ridiculous and totally irrational given our circumstances, we cannot deal with it and release it.

Here are some safe ways I have found that have helped me.

Talk to a compassionate friend or professional whom you trust enough to talk about it.  Others often can see the things we are blind to and offer support by hearing us.

Journal or record your voice if it is easier, until you feel you can name the FEARS easily.

Become aware of the shift that is required to release these FEARS within yourself physically.  This is a unique experience.

Then and only then can we move into a place of gentle acceptance, knowing the root cause and that you are no longer in danger as you have moved from that space.  In some cases, our perceived danger is more real to us than an actual one.

The cathartic journey of finding the release through the process is rewarding as you move into a new place of safety within yourself.

Connecting with others via a process of guided meditation to release your FEARS silently is also helpful for some.

Increasing your own spiritual practise and asking for inner guidance to overcome your FEARS and developing that inner knowingness that creates safety beyond what our mind perceives.

Consider a practise like  Yoga or TRE® to create more awareness of the energy flow within you and around you.

Until next time

Much Love

Marléne