Hello there folks.
I have been focusing on my inner drive for freedom and independence now at this age and revisited some other stages in my life where these two values were just as important, however, for different reasons.
Firstly, why is it important to me? Perhaps you may want to ask yourself the same question and list what comes to mind.
Personally, my reasons are that I am not fond of complying with others’ rules and control; however, for a large part of my life, I was being controlled by somebody or an organization. I had to dress, act, perform, and work in a particular way to conform to society to better myself. Life had a ceiling and a pre-determined path as mapped out by social norms. I wouldn’t say I liked every moment and rebelled inwardly as much as possible. I almost destroyed myself and impacted many others’ lives negatively. I have done some deep inner work even to admit that publicly.
From where I sit now, observing my life over time and having the privilege to watch others through my work and the sharing within my circles, I have concluded that perhaps we don’t know another way to live.
From the day we are born, we are in a system of some kind. Suppose you were fortunate to be born into a family where freedom was a traditional value, and you were taught to be independent to enhance that freedom. In that case, you may also, at times, find difficulty in the system, like me. I was taught independence, though, as a primary value, with a bit of distortion in that the motivation was so that I never had to ask or receive anything from another. As it is in the giving that the ulterior motive lies. Which, as you can imagine, brought another subject to the fore. Independence from the perspective of having the freedom to look after all my needs from a position of mistrust of the rest of humanity. Any exchange that happened had to be equal. When I began working years back, I realized that equal exchange was often a myth. This filtered through into relationships and friendships. The people I most wanted to trust were those close to me, and yet I never could allow myself to. In retrospect, trust in me was needed from within. Freedom and independence are from within too. It is not about being freed externally. Do I give myself the freedom to think, be, and live the life I dream of, or am I the hugest obstacle? Every decision I make is an opportunity to step toward freedom and independence. It’s a change of perspective that is required. A loving relationship with myself is the key to freedom and independence. I finally figured out that irrespective of what steps are needed to get there, they will always be one step at a time, never more than I can handle. I allow myself to feel the feedback I receive from my inner self as the moments arrive and evaluate the next step.
How can I live a life of freedom and independence in everything I do and am? This is the question I will leave you to ponder for yourself.
That’s what I am unraveling for myself as my life moves forward. I am confident I am not alone in this quest.
Much Love, as always.
From my heart to yours.
Marléne
https://talkingfromtheheart.com/