Hey there, friends.
It’s been a few weeks since a friend and I swam a single Robben Island crossing in March 2025. And yet, it feels strangely minimized in my mind. I have never done that before. I have been simming in open water for 2 and a bit years. I should be celebrating. I teach others to do that. Yet all I focus on is others pushing further—longer swims, greater challenges. Is that where my focus always goes? The next thing, the next challenge which is great it pushes me beyond my comfortzome, however without pause or reflection is it just another thing? In all the books I have read and hours I have spent studying human behaviour, my own life experiences, client responses to the triggers, this not aknowledging our achievements is a response to early trauma. There is so much information if you want to google that for yourself. Brené Brown talks about it and so does Dr Gabor Maté. However this is my personal experience through it.
My life has always been fast-paced, running from something, someone one or running towards a promise in the future, but now it seems like the whole world is on fast forward too. Oddly I am not alone anymore, this realisation is intrigiuging me, perhaps I never was. We’re collectively living through a period in our own evolution where we get to choose what we carry forward and what we leave behind, baggage, friends, relationships that are not serving. Its part of our evolution. I wonder how that affects us emotionally says the philospher in me.
For me, action has always meant gathering, whether it be more experiences, more things, keep busy. We all know the saying about the “rolling stone”, and again today, as another delivery arrived, I had to face a truth I’ve been avoiding, I am still gathering and once again in a non-serving way. I’m feeding old addictions in new ways. So whatever the additiction is whether it be online shopping, looking or creating the space for the next event to attend or course to enrol for or attned. I have to face myself. My phone has become a huge distraction. This is how is has worked for me. There are always sneaky little hooks that seem harmless until one day, you wake up depleted and ask yourself: Am I in this too deep, again? Do I have a problem? These are questions I have often asked myself obviously based on my journey through recovery from previous addicitions, which I manage daily. The seeiming innoixous ones filter through and take a firm grip Fortunately with all my years of training and studying about the subject I have a support system so I now am admitting it and reaching out. Writing is a channel for me to express it too. I understand that that may not be the option for you if you are reading this. The good news if you ask for help it does come, not always in the shape or form you ask it for as the work still needs to be done to manage yourself.
Denial isn’t an option for me. I’ve conquered too much already I refuse to retreat to Alcoholism busing over-the-counter meds and more. Yet shopping has emerged again. I am again with the knoweledge and experience, sitting in a financial crisis at a time when that’s the last place anyone wants to be. So, what now and what does that say about me? I am a human being on my evolutionary journey just like everyone else. It is ok to make mistakes that is what this life is about. For us to learn the lesson and make different choices.
One step at a time. Again being loving and patient with myself as I take the steps I need to take to manage myself with all the easy possibilities and hooks that are around to go crazy as my “shadow” side leans towards. I choose to live with more ease and grace towards forgiving myself and supporting myself through the tough times of makeig different choiecs.
It’s laughable, really, how we repeat these cycles until we finally decide to break them. But I am breaking this one. I’m done playing this game.
This realization didn’t come out of nowhere. In a Life Alignment session with a colleague recently, something surfaced, distraction. It’s taken me 24 hours to get to the root of it: I feel without purpose. From the outside, you might not see it. But inside, it’s real. And if I don’t acknowledge it, it will keep pulling me under. Perhaps you resonate or you are able to rise above it.
I know I have value to offer. I know I’m here to serve as I have been blessed with many gifts. Maybe this is my training ground for the next level of growth. We are all receiving more intuitive information, becoming more attuned. But we need to make space for that purity of spirit. We need to clean house, internally and externally. When I initially wrote this I had yet to experience a 16hour Master class as a requirement for my Life Alignment Practioner status. This is the day after and suddenly this is all clear to me.
The reminder of the addictions and behaviour have been shouting loudly for me to go within a look at the self-worth issues and the acrchetypes I have been stuck in, which I am relieved to say feel released now. I am on my path as a Warrior and not a Recuer. I don’t need rescuing and nor to others. We are all on our own journey of evolution as I mentioned earlier. I have a pattern that I needed to observe where in a few quick actions I changed the entire direction of my life that created years of pain and heartache for myself. It was me who took the first step. I take responsibility for that now as I release the pattern and keep the awareness as a blessing. I also acknowledge those who played to role for me to experience the things I have to become who I am today.
So why am I spilling my guts like this? Because I know I am not alone. There’s a collective feeling of deep, global uncertainty out there about what’s next? The world leaders play their next round of chess while we navigate the ripple effects in our families, our communities, our lives, our world
How do we move through this phase?
From what our guides suggest, it starts with cleaning up. Decide what you’re leaving behind—whether it’s possessions, relationships, old stories, or outdated identities. Look at what you want to take with you into the future. Be prepared as this could stir up emotions for you. Triggers. Identify them and let them surface. They reveal what’s distracting you, pulling you off course.
Maybe you’ve already mastered this well done and if this message isn’t for you please share it perhaps someone close to you needs to hear it.
If you every want to book a Coaching session with me please click on the link below.
#SelfAndMoreCoaching #ConsciousLiving #EnergyHealing #HealingJourney #AddictionRecovery #MindfulLiving #Simplicity #InnerWork #Purpose #LettingGo #Intuition #LifeAlignment #Transformation #PersonalGrowth #SelfAwareness #Balance #RobbenIslandSwim #CapeTown #RobbenIsland #SobrietyJourney #HeartfeltRecovery #AuthenticCelebration #OneDayAtATime #ShareYourStory
Much love from heart to yours
Marléne